I don't remember you
by 898700
Summary: When the family suddenly grows in a member and no one seems to find it odd except Leo, it is up to him to straight things again. The problem? He is not sure of his own motives for doing so. This is a Fifth Turtle tale, with a twist. CHAPTER TWO IS UP.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **I don't remember you

**Author: **Jerico Cacaw

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the TMNT. Really.

**Summary:** When the family suddenly grows in a member and no one seems to find it odd except Leo, it is up to him to straight things again. The problem? He is not sure of his own motives for doing so. This is a _Fifth Turtle_ tale, with a twist. Or so I hope.

**Author notes:** While I was writing this, **Jessiy Landroz** published a fic named **Stop**, which has a conversation between turtle tot Mikey and turtle tot Leo that fits nicely here. Although I can swear this idea was born before said story arrived to I have to recognize some of the Part One was changed because of it.

It must be pointed I started writing this story in English, but somebody (hi, **Medeah**!) made me realize we should support Spanish TMNT section. Right now I have Parts One, Two and Three written in English and would be translating them to Spanish under the name **No me acuerdo de ti**. Next Parts would be written in Spanish and latter translated to English. This might be the hard part, as I'm used to think of our Turtles in Shakespeare's idiom. My access to the TV show is sporadic; all I know from the TMNT is thanks to the Internet.

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**Part One**

_Leonardo's POV (1st person)_

---

It was a dark and stormy night.

It almost looked as if we were living one of Mikey's cheesy horror movies. A power shortage sinking in darkness this part of the city, the rain outside making the sewers' ambience even more humid than usual and the running water sounds as background not helping a bit to lift the spirits. Fortunately, even with Master Splinter's absence Raph agreed this was not a night to go out, so we ended piled up on the sofa. Four to six candles around us projected ghostly shadows, as Donnie decided to keep the generator only for fridge use, because he didn't knew how long it will take for electricity to come back. We were never ones to let the food get spoiled.

No one denied this were the perfect circumstances for one of Mikey's infamous nightmares, which was the reason we were currently humoring him, nestled in a puddle of covers and pillows, going on any light and insubstantial theme from the list. I smiled to myself, wondering what Master Splinter would say if he were to find us like this. He probably would make tea and talk with our baby bro until he relaxed enough to sleep.

But if Mikey were to wake up scared and screaming, it will be Donnie, Raph or me the one that went to comfort him; because it was an unspoken agreement the four of us were no little turtles anymore. Yes, we still turned toward our Sensei for guidance and advice; but soothe and comfort was another story. He accepted it without reproach although making clear that part of him will always be there for us. Nonetheless, we tried to act as young adults, each one within his limits. This turned into additional responsibilities yet entitling a few privileges, such as being left home alone for a week while our father went to meditate somewhere in the vicinity of NYC.

Now, my ideal to die a happy turtle currently was to stop worrying about our Master. But, truth to be told, distressing is second nature to me, and nothing could make the disturbing thoughts dispel. Still I tried, pushing them to some remote part of the mind while choosing to focus on our surrounds instead. I was on the left corner of the sofa, with Donnie slightly leaning on and Mikey shamelessly sprawled over both of us, happily chatting. Raph was on the opposite corner, as far a he could get on the over crowded piece of furniture, frequently dropping Mikey's feet from his lap.

Now, I can swear a minute ago we were talking about non probable pizza combinations, so it was a mystery how we ended on the current topic of choice.

"Mikey, that's practically impossible," Donnie was saying. "She would have to be mutated at the same time that the rest of us, as the properties of that ooze's batch were the most stable ones. And we should have known by now, don't you think? For once, Bishop wouldn't try so frequently to put his hands on us if there were other subjects available."

"Yeah, but what if they're not that much available anymore? What if they were poked and probed till they were of no use? Wouldn't you dump the, ahh, tatty _subjects_, and pick up new ones?" Obviously, Raph was trying to mess with Donnie, and the latter's disgusted face proved his success.

"Raph, that's gross! We are talking about us and creatures like us here, you could at least show some empathy!"

"Besides, what could we do with a tatty turtle girl?" Mikey added playfully, earning a disapproving glare and a smug smile from our brothers.

"And what would _you_ do with a turtle girl, Mikey, tatty or not?" added Raph, his comment soaked in double meanings. I didn't liked were he was directing this conversation to. Sure, not being little kids anymore meant sex talks were fairly common, but this night's implicit idea was to nurse Mikey while we allowed ourselves to act a little childish again. Fortunately, my small brother didn't take the bait.

"Wouldn't that be great, a little sis? And I don't care what you say, Donnie, 'cause that's how I imagine it. We will take care of her, and she'll watch cartoons with me. You could teach her many things, Donnie, and I'm sure she will be able to convince Raph on doing anything with a wink of her pretty eyes."

"Let her try," Raph grunted. "But I agree with women being manipulative bitches, even little ones."

"And it is common knowledge girls are more mature," Donnie said, deliberately ignoring Raph's profanity. "Wouldn't you enjoy that, Leo?"

They turned to look at me, waiting for an answer I didn't wanted to share; because, unlike them, I appeared to be taking this matter seriously, which bugged me to no end.

"Well, I don't know. Having a mature sibling would be a welcomed blessing," I concurred, making them smile as they evidently expected me to say so. "But as for her being younger than us, that could become a problem."

No word was said in response because they knew what I was talking about. Our lives were dangerous, and having a little child in it will only raise the risk for our family. I still don't know how Master Splinter managed with the four of us, but it is also true the Foot Clan and the Purple Dragons were not around back then.

"So you say no 'cuz you don't want to carry another one of us on your shell."

Put it on Raph to find an attack on everything I say. But looking at Mikey and Donnie I noticed they seemed to agree with his statement, so I took some time to think my next words, trying to make them clear enough.

"Guys, you are not a burden, I've never thought of you that way," I started. "But think about what you are proposing, Mikey. We had each other while we were growing up; she will not have children her age around, not in the family and certainly not as friends."

They remained silent, so I continued with my little speech.

"And we are all ninjas; we can take care of ourselves and the same applies to Master Splinter. But she, being younger, will not be able to do it. One of us will have to remain with her all the time, especially as our Sensei is not getting younger; I don't think it would be fair to make him take care of a child again." I looked each of my brothers, wishing for them to understand. "And it would not be fair for her, either, to grow up in the middle of our current circumstances. We had a rather stable environment in our childhood, but she obviously can't have the same right now."

Mikey hummed for a while, thinking of something to say. Then his eyes shone and a smile returned to his face.

"But what if she were our own age?" he supplied. "As you said, Donnie; and if she mutated at the same time than us, she would be fifteen too."

"I said it was more _probable_ to occur that way, Mikey; don't make it sound as if I implied it really happened," Donnie admonished.

"Besides, being fifteen doesn't mean she can defend herself," added Raph, weirdly voicing my own thoughts. "Look at Ape, she's older than us but still we have saved her ass a bunch of times."

"But she can be a ninja too, can't she?" Mikey said, bending on a weird position to look me at the eye.

"Wouldn't that be very unlikely, another mutated turtle Ninjitsu skilled?" I asked, and Donnie nodded at that. "Moreover, you don't know if the one to train her will be friend or foe, she could end being our enemy."

"Man, you love to complicate things, don't cha?" Mikey rolled his eyes while Raph snickered at his commentary. "Being our sister, there's no way she could avoid being a ninja and one of the good guys, like us."

"Are we talking of real possibilities or just insane theories?" was Donnie's contribution. "Because Leo seems to be referring to the first while you are fantasizing on the second."

"Geez, can't you two stop overanalyzing everything?" Raph grunted, pushing Mikey's legs down again with a little more force than necessary. It took both Donnie and me to prevent our little bro from falling to the floor.

"What's wrong with fantasies?" he said, once he stopped struggling. "I mean, we can imagine how would it be, and pretend she is real and has been part of the family all the time."

I found that pretty pointless, but Raph looked as if he decided to go along with it.

"Like this? Let say, she is green and fifteen," he teased.

"She is a ninja turtle," Donnie joked. "Oh, and our sister too. How could I forget it?"

"Yeah, yeah. We already agreed with all of that," Mikey interrupted. "She is just as funny and pretty as I am."

"Hell, no. Poor girl," Raph stopped a kick our not truly offended brother send him.

"She is curious and intelligent, and easily understands when I try to explain something," Donnie went on.

"But she knows when to keep her mouth shut," added our self appointed Scrooge. "And she's a damn good fighter, who can kick Leo's ass with ease."

Sure.

"What about you, Leo? What can you say about our sis?" Mikey asked and the three of them looked at me. Again.

"Uh …" I trailed.

"Yes?" questioned Mikey, urging me to go on.

"She is …" I stopped one more time, and sighed before continuing. "She is not real. I'm sorry, Mikey, I can't go along with this."

His disappointed pout made me regret my words immediately, but still I found nothing to say.

"And here I wondered when Mr. Fun will arrive," mumbled Raph. Donnie just shared a sad smile, which made me feel even worst. Why couldn't I be part of this stupid game, if only to pamper my baby brother? I couldn't resist the urge to explain myself, simply to make them stop thinking I was as pathetic as they already believed.

"It is just that I don't think we need a sister."

"Because it is a girl?" Donnie asked, and I couldn't believe what he was implying.

"Come on, Don! You know me better than that!" I defended myself. "I don't care if it is male or female; furthermore, I wouldn't care if any of you were a girl."

"That would have to be Raph …" Mikey taunted, changing his mind at Raph's reaction, "or Donnie."

Mikey ended at the floor, circumstance that I took advantage of by rousing from the sofa. I was getting tired of it; to be attacked this late by my own brothers would not help to improve our already strained relationship. Don and Raph will better be enough for Mikey, because I could not stand another moment by their side.

"Leo, please stay," Donatello grabbed my arm. Michelangelo was still at the floor, trying to emerge from the covers cocoon with Raphael's help. "I apologize, all right? It was not my intention to offend you."

"And why should I stay, Don? We evidently have different points of view on this, and anything I could add to the subject will turn into a discussion."

"You can keep your mouth closed and simply enjoy the company," Raphael grunted, pulling a blanket hard enough to make Mike roll and disentangle with a yelp.

"What do you think I've been trying to do the last ten minutes?" I freed myself from Donnie's grip and moved into Raphael personal space. "I've been doing exactly that and can't handle it anymore!"

"Well, then just say whatever you have to say," he moved closer to me, his voice full of displeasure.

"Guess what, Raphael, I already did it," I pointed, and my next words were clear and slow as if they could not get them otherwise. "I. Don't. Think. We. Need. A. Sister."

"Hey guys, it is okay; let's just talk about something else," Mikey said, but he still didn't step between us.

"Not yet, Mikes," Raph declared, not taking his gaze from me. "Our Fearless Leader still has to explain who named him God to decide about this."

"I need nobody to do so, Raphael; I'm part of this family and that gives me some right to say what I think, even if you are against it!" This was way beyond my old self, I knew it, but that didn't stop me. "Our family is perfect the way it already is, and I don't believe we need a sister or another brother or any other member you could think of, except …"

I silenced myself before the next words left my mouth, but the damage was already done. Anger finally abandoning me, to remain quiet was the only way to keep what little unwounded pride I still had.

"Except what?" asked Raphael, and he crossed the arms on truly Raph's fashion.

"A girlfriend?" Mikey provided.

"Mikey, please don't help," pleaded Donatello, burying his face in a pillow. He emerged seconds later, more composed. "Were you saying, Leo?"

"It was nothing," I shook my head and started to leave. "I'm going to bed."

"Ow com'on, Leee-o" Mikey whined, puppy eyes and all. "Puh-ease?"

Gosh. To believe Mikey is an innocent creature you really need to never have met him before, he is such a manipulative little imp. Usually I can defend myself from his scheming, but this night has proven to be too much for me. Therefore, I admitted defeat.

"I was going to say that maybe a mom would be okay." They remained quiet, shocked by my confession. Not the reaction I expected. "See? I knew you would not understand. Just forget it."

I left to my room, leaving them to deal with their own business, praying they will pay attention to my last request. Maybe I should forget the whole evening too, having enough to worry about and all. And sleep was now out of question, so I hoped meditation would be of any help.

---

Hours later, I still couldn't believe what came out of my mouth, especially as it didn't go the way I expected. There was not as much embarrassment as anticipated, but that could only be due to the fact that I left before Raph and Mikey had enough time to recover from the blow. Nothing can be done to avoid the mocking I will be subjected at, but that's not what's nagging me right now.

It's something entirely different.

For first time in many days, there's more than anger boiling in me, whether contained or not. It's a sadness I have never felt with this intensity before, related to the last thing anyone could expected from me. Something I have craved for despite the fact that I will never get it. A mom.

I'm sure my brothers have thought of her at least once on their life, but the four of us have never sited to talk about it. Instead, I remember one day when the subject arise between Mikey and me, but it was mostly Mikey talking, wondering if our mother missed us. To him, she was out there, even if far-away. To him, she was real; his words showed it, with that dazzling innocence he still conserves traces of, among his traits the one I've always envied the most.

I am not like him. Even with us being the same age, back then I already understood the mother Mikey dreamed of have never existed and never will. She could not think of us the way he wanted her to, because even if she was still alive, there were in her no traces of the intelligence that made a difference between animals and human-like beings. As hard as it was to admit it, she had not a soul like those of us. She might be our blood related mother, but that meant nothing at all.

It makes me sick whenever I think like that. _Racist_ is the first word that comes to my mind, and I can't help but compare my own feelings with those of the people that judge us less than humans. Chauvinistic, bigoted, xenophobic. Prejudiced, intolerant, narrow-minded. Biased. Many sleepless nights were prompted on my desire to find an excuse, anything, to make me feel less filthy about this. But all I have is this nagging egotistical feeling, knowing that my respect and love toward Master Splinter, my father, would simply not be the same if he were a non-mutated rat. Yes, we had a mother, but she was not the mother I needed. And to think of the mother I desired felt like a treachery toward the real one, so I refused doing so.

The same way I refused thinking of a sister that never existed.

We are the evidence that animals and humans are not that different, after all; because no matter how amazing the Ooze could be, it still was far from being god. We were mutated but it didn't make us _be_, didn't give us a soul. We already had one of those, the ooze just made it evolve into what we are now. And we were not that special; it could be any other creature in our place. To think of all those somebody that could have been just makes the guiltiness increase. I was given a chance many will never have; their number, millions of billions, is a weight that crushes me down.

There's no way I could be good enough to live up to it, but still I try.

To my brothers, Mikey's game was just that, a game. And all I can do is hope for them to remain that way, just as I yearn for somebody to come and make my worries go. I know we already have Master Splinter, but something tells me that's something only mothers are entitled to do. Then I think of my mother, a little creature that will never know we are its sons; and my soul mourns for the mom I'll never have.

---

**AN:** I kindly invite you to read and review; I'll try to update this story as soon as possible and yes, I understand it might be slightly insane to try and publish it both in English and Spanish at once. Oh, and if you are waiting for an update on other of my stories, don't worry! I'm working on them.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **I don't remember you

**Author: **Jerico Cacaw

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the TMNT.

**Summary:** When the family suddenly grows in a member and no one seems to find it odd except Leo, it is up to him to straight things again. The problem? He is not sure of his own motives for doing so. This is a Fifth Turtle tale, with a twist.

**Author note:** Ah, Thanx for the time you will take to read this. Truly, it is amazing to know that, somewhere around the world, other people are reading what I write. By the way, my humble apologies for the delay; I've been busy trying to write an original story. That's 50k words in 30 days, accordingly to NaNoWriMo's rules (National Novel Writhing Month). I hope I can do it.

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**Part Two**

_Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo's POV (3rd person)_

---

On the streets, the rain kept pouring while the clouds hid the moon and stars. It was darkness, obscurity, blackness everywhere, if you choose to ignore the occasional lightning. Unknown to the inhabitants of the sewers, the water flowed clearer than in previous days, having removed earlier most of the dirt from the streets. A gust of fresh air ran thru the tunnels and, along with those of the dripping and running water, its whisper was the only sound heard.

Into the Lair, three turtles watched as his older brother retreated toward his room.

"Can you believe he said it?" Raphael angrily said, once Leonardo's door was closed.

"Somehow, it doesn't surprise me, Raphael," Donatello defended his brother. "I mean, with us refusing to look for emotional support with Master Splinter, we had been turning to each other more frequently. And that includes you, Raph, there's no need to deny it."

"Yes, but Leo have never done that, it was always Master Splinter for him," Mikey supplied, knowing they were fully aware of the fact.

"Because he refuses to show weakness in front of us," grunted Raphael, while sitting back at his corner of the sofa.

"That is the easiest explanation. But then, the same applies to you, yet it is not unusual for you to vent your frustrations with Leo or try to find some stress relief nagging Mikey," Donnie provided. "By the way, this happens to be a very bad move, as it ends with Michelangello scheming one insanity or another in revenge."

Raphael smiled at that, as he knew his brother's words were nothing but true. Nonetheless, his smile was not shared by Mikey, who appeared to be lost in his thoughts, still picking up the pillows and covers that lay scattered on the floor, handing them to Raph and Donnie.

"Maybe we can't give him what he needs."

Raphael couldn't accept the sad regret he heard on the youngest turtle's voice.

"Well, it is his problem, not ours," he said. "Besides, what could a mother give him that we can't?"

"He didn't say a mother," Michelangelo pointed. "He said a _mom_. There's a difference."

Donnie smiled at his brother's commentary, catching the meaning of his words.

Raphael silently pondered it. _A mom._ Then he understood it: they did have a mother, the biological one. But what could they wait from her? Besides the fact that she brought them to the living's world, that's it. Of course, they already knew what mothers were for. They have to, with Mikey subjecting them to such enormous amounts or TV, thus to the common clichés of motherhood.

The thing was, he never had wondered if they needed a mother, and he had never stopped to considerate their real mother meant nothing to them. _Real_. What, was there such a thing as an unreal mother? He wondered why they have never talked about it before. Well, this moment was as good as any other to do it.

"She is green, and older than us," he started without looking at them.

A few moments passed before anything else was said, this time by Donatello.

"She is not a ninja, but she is a turtle. Oh, and our mother too. How could I forget that?"

Raph raised his head and found Donnie tenderly smiling; they both turned to look at Michelangelo.

"Mom is as funny and pretty as I am," he said with a crazy grin, before a shower of pillows was sent on his way. Still, he managed to add something. "And she loves me much!"

"Mom loves us all," Donnie corrected, pausing in his attack. "She doesn't always understand everything I say, but still she pays attention when I talk."

"Mom does not care if I believe she should close her mouth; still she goes on and tries to put some sense on my head," Raph admitted, recovering the pillows that were close to his sofa's corner. "And even when she is not a damn good fighter, she can kick Leo's ass. Hell, she can kick any of our asses."

They snickered at that, silently in agreement.

"She is much more … uh, no … she is as wise as Master Splinter," remarked Mikey, finally taking a seat at Raphael's side. "But she is way better a cooker than I am."

"And I'm not as good as she is at patching us up," Donnie took the last blanket and extended it over his brothers, before cuddling on his corner.

"And she's better than I am at keeping Michelangelo under control," Raph pushed the younger turtle in the direction of his other brother.

"Hey! You can't keep me under control!"

"That's why we need her so much!"

Raph last words remained on their minds for a moment. Donnie tried not to act as Leo had before, but he couldn't prevent himself from acknowledging all of this was not real. Because, if they really needed her so much, why wasn't she by their side?

"Mom can't be with us always," Mikey pointed, obviously sharing his brother concern, "because she has a lot of other sons to care for. We can't be selfish, 'cause we have to share her with all our little bros."

"And you are such a noble, self-sacrificing turtle, aren't you?" Raph shook his head, still not believing Mikey weird observation.

"Yup. It only proves why I'm her favorite."

"She has no favorites, she loves us equally," the purple-clad turtle declared.

"And if she were to have a favorite, it would be Leo."

"Raph, don't start that," complained Donnie, directing an irritated gaze to his brother.

"What? He IS the perfect son."

Both Mikey and Donnie rolled his eyes at that.

"Mom does not believe he is perfect," the first one said. "Or, better, she believes we all are perfect."

Donatello had to agree with that, though he admitted they were in disadvantage when compared against Leonardo. However, mothers are supposed to be fair with their sons, weren't they? Nonetheless, the genius turtle decided to change the subject. Raphael never took easily Leo's perfectionism, and they had already had enough fighting tonight.

"When mom comes to visit, she makes us pizza," if that didn't call his brother's attention, nothing else will do it, "even if she doesn't like pizza too much, as she prefers more healthy food."

"What do you have against pizza? It does a balanced meal," Mikey pointed, obviously amused by the fact that Donnie was the one talking about food.

"Not with all the junk you put on it, and certainly not with the amount you swallow," Raphael contradicted him. "Seriously, Michelangelo, you are way too heavy … and get off, you are squashing me again."

The youngest brother didn't fight the shove; instead he used the impulse to fall on Donatello.

"Mikey!" the crushed turtle yelled trying to remove him, which happened to be impossible, as Michelangelo was not helping. In fact, he was very happily acting as dead weight.

"What? If I'm as weightless as a feather …"

Finally Raphael came to the rescue and, with Donatello's help, managed to immobilize their younger brother in the middle of the sofa. They had to sacrifice the whole bunch of covers and pillows, but Mikey's frustration look was sufficient reward.

"You are not so fun," he snorted.

The other turtles paid no ears to his complain.

"Mom refuses to watch us spar with our weapons," Raph returned to their previous talk, "even if she understands why Master Splinter is training us as ninjas."

"She dislikes the life we have to live," Don had to agree, "but you are right; she is aware of the fact that our Sensei does the best he can."

"So, to keep her happy, there are things we don't do. For example, we don't torture our baby bros," Michelangelo articulated while trying to get free.

"Shut up, Mikey, you don't have baby bros," Raphael said, winking at him while fastening the covers that the youngest turtle had managed to loosen.

"Not here, that's it," Donatello hurried to add, remembering Mikey's commentary bout sharing their mother. He really, really was not in the mood to considerate all the implications of such statement.

"Guys, really, I'm getting numb," the orange-clad turtle whined.

His brother looked at each other, trying to decide if they should believe him. Raphael shook his head, sighing, before moving to free the captive.

"Promise you will behave," he grunted.

"Eh …"

"Mikey!"

"Al right, all right!" he accepted. But then, turning to face his other brother, he silently worded _grouchy_, while Raphael let him free.

Donatello rolled his eyes. Some turtles never learn. Well, at least Michelangelo was staying on his side of the couch.

"Mom loves the green color; she has the skin to prove it … Owie! What I did to you?"

Raphael looked ready to pound his head again.

"Seriously, Michelangelo, I'm still waiting for you to make an intelligent contribution," Donatello remarked.

"That's not true," an offended Mikey rebuked, "because then we will have two Donatellos."

"The kid is right," Raphael agree. "And you have to admit it would be unbearable."

"Hey!"

The three turtle brothers spend the next hour and a half talking about it, adding bit after bit while the candles slowly burned out. Finally they said good night and retired to their rooms. Three doors closed, and soon the silence descended on their home. Well, if you ignored the cricket that decided to spend the night in the drain.

---

_Donatello's POV (1st person)_

---

Twelve minutes and one, two, three, four, five, six …

"Donnie?"

I smiled. Honestly, I expected him much earlier. Like, seven minutes ago. Maybe Mikey was waiting for Raph to fall first, and the snoring from the next room proved our brother was already on dream land.

"Come in, Mikey," I made some room for him on my bed.

"There's a monster under my bed," he sheepishly joked, but we both knew he has never been able to sleep alone on thunder-y nights. Even if we live underground.

Sometimes I believe he is the bravest of us all, as I rarely find the courage to show my feelings as openly as he does. I know from the source that both Leonardo and Raphael envy this trait of him, and that they put up with his childish manners just to keep him this way.

God, we will do anything for him.

"I talked with Leo about mom, a long time ago," he whispers, surprising me.

"Really?" I ask, as there is nothing more I can say.

"U-hu. Well, in fact, I did most of the talking. He just … was there for me. Listening, nodding, giving the right answers and such."

Yes, that definitely sounded like Leo.

"Was it like tonight?" I had to know.

"You mean, if he was in denial?"

I laughed and he joined me, but it was not that funny.

"No, not that part; what I want to know is if you talked of how she …" I stopped. How could I end that? Is, was, would be, could be? There was not right choice, but Mikey seemed to understand the question.

"I was wondering if she missed us as much as we missed her," he admitted.

Oh. How could I say Mikey that his 'we' didn't include me? I've never missed her. At first, because what we had at home was enough for me. Just like Leo said earlier, I have always believed our family is perfect for us. And then, as we grew up, I rationalized that our mother was … well, a turtle. That was a hard blow, but Leo already had figured it out, and he helped me face that fact.

"I wasn't aware then," Mikey was going on, "but I think Leo knew that the mom I was talking about wasn't real. He said nothing, though; he allowed me to live my little fantasy."

Tonight is one of those times where nothing you can say is good enough. I hate this occasions, I'm not fit for it.

"How old were we, Mikey?"

"I-I don't remember. Sorry," he apologized. "But we were really young. I still had some speech problems."

Yes, that qualifies as really young. Just how old was Leo when he understood we didn't really have had a mom? Was he like me, unable to say Mikey that he never missed a ghost? But he already answered that, didn't he? _A mom would be okay_. He wanted her on his live, even if he was reluctant to admit that.

And I needed her, too.

It didn't matter that most of my life I barely thought about her, because many times during the night I caught myself wishing for her to be real, even if I understood that we might be too old to need a mom. And now, hearing from Mikey he understood she never existed, I can't believe we were so cruel to play the game with him. Maybe Leo was right when he refused to.

God, if there's a god out there for creatures like us, I beg for your forgiveness.

Because, before sleep won over us, I pushed Mikey into repeating all the facts the three of us had made up about her. And this time I believed every single bit of it.

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**AN:** Oh my. I just ended the translation of that last part and … uh … I was kinda sappy when I wrote that, uh? I had just saw a theater play (for children) where a little girl is sad because her mother is away and can't give her a good night kiss. I swear, most of the adults were crying at that part :P. The idea was to write Raph's POV at the end of this chapter, but he refuses to come when I'm in those conditions. Well, I'm better now.

Now, thanks to **Reinbeauchaser** (thanks for your corrections! I'm gonna fix that … and hey, I'm being praised for being sparse in my writing! Uh ... that is a good thing, right? Really, the fact that you can write a lot of words is not a problem, because you do it beautifully), **Leo Oneal** (another one that thinks they need a mom! Sorry, I'm gonna make you wait till the next chapter), **Jessiy Landroz** (yup, I mention "the chat" of your story on this one again. And Raph is not being helpful, he refuses to come …), **Cynlee** (O-oooh, I'm on your alert list! I'm feeling extremely honored :), **Tewi** (and I impressed you! Yay!), **Mewfew** (thanks), and **TheIncredibleDancingBetty** (I will write more of this, just … on a very slow pace).


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